Occurences and Outcomes
by animelover151
Summary: Shuichi gets a special birthday wish, and we all know the one person he lives to love. Shuichi plans to change their lives for the better, but little does he know that changing the past hardly ever leads to a happier future.


Shuichi cursed as he dropped his keys for the last time. Finally pushing the door open he stumbled in tired and ready to relax. Opening the bottle of water in his hand to take a swig he was suddenly pushed up against the wall. Shuichi let out a shriek and slung the water all over his attacker. The lights turned on and a "Happy Birthday Shuichi" rang out in the room. Gasps went out as they saw Yuki dripping wet with water. Tatsuha began to laugh falling off of his station on the couch. Shuichi whimpered at the glare his lover was giving him. "Sorry..." Yuki sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He snorted and mumbled something like 'ok kid' and went to the bedroom to change.

Now over the initial shock of what was happening Shuichi was confused. Today wasn't his birthday. His birthday was at the end of the month. He glanced over at Hiro and his best friend let out a chuckle. Shuichi always forgot the day, and never remembered his own birthday. It was beyond the guitarist comprehension how the boy managed to keep up with all the other important dates of the year. Fair enough though, his birthday had never been neglected by the pink haired boy.

Shuichi had finally come to the conclusion that today was actually the day he was born by the time Yuki returned in a dryer state. He smiled and let out a very loud, "Oh, thanks guys! I can't believe that you all did this for me! I didn't even remember that it was my birthday!" Everyone laughed as they gathered around the much loved singer. It was a night that was full of fun and enjoyment. Tohma and Mika were nothing but kind to him. Shuichi had finally been accepted into the family and there was nothing he was more proud of. His own family couldn't make it. It was golden week and they were currently away on holiday. Shuichi had been unable to join them due to his work schedule.

It was Shuichi's favorite time of the night, cake time. His friends had gotten him a strawberry flavored cake with pocket sticks as candles. Hiro lit them one by one as Yuki leaned down and whispered in the boy's ear, "Happy twentieth, baka." Shuichi smiled and planted a kiss on his loverís cheek for the spared thought. There was nothing more he would or could want than the man's true and utter happiness. As he leaned in to blow out the candles on his cake Shuichi wished for this fact alone to become a reality.

It was a time later when everyone had left. Tohma, Mika, and Hiro had stayed behind to help clean. That alone had made the night last even longer than it was initially supposed to. Eiri retired to the room shortly after the cutting of the cake. Mika had looked sad. It seemed that her brother would never truly return back to the child he used to be.

Shuichi went to tap on the door to Yuki's study and see what he was doing. As always the man was typing away at the keyboard. Shuichi burst in the room with just a little too much enthusiasm and his voice a couple octaves too high. Yuki impaled him with a glare and the verbal warning that soon followed it. "Dammit brat, I've seen enough of you this evening. Leave me alone and GET OUT." Shuichi's face fell from one of elated joy to crushing defeat. He mumbled something resembling 'sorry' and quickly scurried out of the study.

The boy drug his feet to the couch and plopped down without any energy. His eyes grew to large amethyst orbs and sobs shook his body. He wished that Yuki would be happier sometimes. It was just so sad. A rustle caught his eye as he looked up into the air. A young boy with bright golden hair and odd golden eyes started at him. He could be no older than eight years and his golden looks reminded Shuichi of his lover, but their shading was much different. There was nothing ungolden about the boy. Even his skin seemed to radiate light. The boy smiled at being recognized by the singer. Shuichi asked in a voice hoarse from crying, "Who, who are you?" The boy smiled sadly and replied.

"No one you would know, but I do know you. Shuichi its been a long time indeed." His look was one as old as time, and this confused Shu greatly.

"Um, am I asleep?" The boy laughed and it rang through the air like bells.

"No, but you have a wish that needs granting, no?" Shuichi nodded remembering his earlier wish. It had not been made half-heartedly. The boy grinned. "Good, that makes this easier. I am here to help you grant that wish. Now the wish you asked for was that Yuki be given the chance to regain lost happiness. Your wording has put us in a tricky situation indeed. My question is where in Yuki's life did he loose most of his happiness?" Shuichi was sure he was dreaming and Kitazawa popped into his mind. The boy nodded as if he had heard the thoughts. Shuichi spared a thought wondering just what the boy actually was. "That my friend is irrelevant, but you are correct. Yuki's unhappiness seems to start with the incident in New York involving Kitazawa. The only way to prevent this from happening would be to stop that event from occurring."

Shuichi's eyes widened in understanding. He let out a high pitched squeal as his mind raced to the possibilities. "Now I must warn you. I can take you back, but what you change will be on you. Do you think that this is what you truly desire?" Shuichi's mind raced at the boy's words. There would be consequences, but those did not seem to stick in his mind. No it was the idea of rescuing Yuki that had so severely grasped him like a disease. Shuichi was enveloped by the possibilities. He reached his hand out to meet the boy's extended one, sure that this was for the best.

Yuki leaned back in his chair as he heard the baka's sobbing cease. Yuki wondered what was amiss as he heard the boy's voice pick up from the living room. He tried to ignore this fact and keep typing. This chapter was due in the morning and he had neglected it enough. This thought was soon abandoned; however, when another noise emanated from the living room. Yuki pushed away from the desk and stood up. His curiosity was peaked, and would not be sated any other way than finding out what the boy was up to. Yuki padded down the hallway and he leaned inside the living room to see his lover's face brighten up with light. The look almost knocked Yuki off of his feet. He had never seen such a hopeful look on anyone before. He watched as his lover reached his hand out to some empty spot in the air. Yuki knew something was wrong. Shuichiís eyes were focused on something that was not there. His hand tightened as if he was grasping something, just as Yuki took a step forward determined to stop his lover.

Shuichi squinted into the light of day against the dark contrast of the room he had left behind. The sun was smoldering down upon them and concrete was all around. It would resemble Tokyo if not for the fast food joints, thugs on the street, and random graffiti everywhere. He looked up at a building and de ja vu swept over him. This was Kitazawa's apartment complex. The lights were on and the building that had not been inhabited since ten years ago was clearly in use. Shuichi sucked a breath in as he swiveled his head around and came face to face with the calm; yet somehow childish grin upon the boy's face. "Welcome to New York."

Shuichi stuttered, "H-how is this possible? T-th-that building there it hasn't been u-used in t-ten years!" The boy smiled and Shuichi had a feeling in his gut that he had just asked a redundant question. The boy smiled reading his mind once again. He nodded towards the sidewalk and the picture there froze Shuichi's heart.

A boy, around twelve years of age walked down the sidewalk, or rather skipped. He was all golden, but a small slant in the eyes revealed his origins. Strangest of all was the happy grin placed on the boy's face. It lit up his features in a way that Shuichi had never seen before. The boy was a picture of innocence. Shuichi let out a breath that formed the word 'Yuki.'

The boy looked up peaked by the name of his tutor. He smiled at the young pink-haired man. "You know Kitazawa-san too?" The young boy asked excitedly and Shuichi felt bile rise into his mouth at the adorning way that name had been called. The boy's face lit up even more, if possible, and he began chatting excitedly about the man in question. Shuichi started. He had never heard so much out of Yuki, or rather Eiri's, mouth at one time. The voice was all joy and carried no hint of the later coldness that it would yield. Shuichi even doubted if the boy knew what sarcasm was.

"So, are you here to see Kitazawa-sensei as well?" The boy asked. Shuichi jerked his head up remembering his mission, determined to protect this precious child.

"Yeah, actually thatís why I'm here. Err, Yuki sent me to, um, tell you that... that he would be, um, out today! Yeah he had an emergency come up and couldn't make it. He said that he couldn't...couldn't, ah get a hold of a Tohma. He said you would know who that was, and, well yeah, he said sorry about everything, and wanted you to, um, return to this Tohma's house or something like that. Oh, sorry I don't really know anything that was the message I was given to, ummmm, give to you." Shuichi had never had to lie under so much pressure before and was truly sweating. The argument didn't sound convincing even to him and Yuki could ALWAYS see through him. There was no way that he would take his word. Shuichi had just screwed everything up.

"Oh, ok...î The boy's face fell and a pang went through Shuichi's heart. He was surprised at the boy's lack of suspension. "Thanks Mister, take care, bye." The young boy turned around a waved at a taxi. Shuichi was in shock! His plan had actually worked. Then he suddenly was pulled back into darkness.

Shuichi rolled over in bed with the beginnings of a terrible headache. He sighed, thinking about the strange dream. Reaching over to find his lover, the man grabbed ahold of someone and nuzzled in. Shuichi then froze. The man's frame was thick with muscles and he could feel coarse hair on his hands. The man rolled over and kissed him square on the mouth. Shuichi felt sick. These were not the kisses he was used to. He pushed the man away and looked at his face. It was tan with brown eyes and brown hair. Rather handsome, but there was no trace of the usual coldness. It was not the face of Eiri Yuki.

"W-Who are you?" Shuichi stammered and the strange man raised his eyebrows.

"Shu? What's wrong?" The man asked in a voice rough like smokers, but not his smokerís voice. Somewhere in the back of his mind Shuichi wondered if it was his destiny to die by the hands of second-hand smoke.

"I said. Who. Are You." Shuichi forced the words out through his gritted teeth, disgusted by the man's foreign smell.

"It's me, Kazuma, whatís wrong Shuichi?" Shuichi gulped and his mind backtracked at lightning fast speeds. The only thing that could have changed the present was his tampering with the past. Shuichi winced as he realized that he had utterly destroyed the future.

"Ah, ok, sorry nightmare." Shuichi mumbled quickly sliding out of bed before the man could once again wrap his arms around the young singer. Shuichi wondered for a second just what this new world was like, and if he even knew Yuki.

"Um, I'm getting ready for work now." He managed to get out hoping that there was nothing odd about this statement.

"Since when did you get a job, besides didn't you and Nakano have classes this morning?" Shuichi's eyes widened at hearing a familiar name. He quickly tried to correct his mistake.

"Oh, yeah I was gonna try one, but I forgot about classes. Hiro must be waiting for me."

"Yeah, if I were you I would get my but down to the cafe." Shuichi felt relieved. It hadn't taken much prying to get the location out of this Kazuma fellow. Hiro was waiting for him at the cafe. Shuichi looked around and realized that he still lived in Yuki's apartment. This was strange, for now he was left to wonder where Yuki lived. As soon as he could escape the strange man, he began to run straight towards the cafe.

Hiro looked down at his watch wondering where Shuichi was. He didn't want to be late to classes because Shuichi had problems with the morning. Particularly the waking up part that usually came with them. He turned to see the pink haired man running at break-neck speed towards him. The man smacked into him delivering a crushing hug. Hiro went oomph, used to the behavior, and actually managed to stay on his feet.

"Hey, why so late?" Shuichi knew that this was a good chance to gather information and offered one of his usual answers to this often asked question.

"I stayed up too late watching the Nittle Grasper video." He smirked.

"Nittle Grasper, is that some new band," Hiro asked, effectively whipping the smirk off of Shuichi's face. He paled and turned towards his longtime friend and let out a strangled kind of sound.

"No!" He squeaked and Hiro nodded searching his memory to see if the name rung any bells. Shuichi stopped when he stopped however in front of the college. Hiro dug around in his bag and pulled out an I.D. and motioned for Shuichi to do the same. This surprised Shuichi greatly, but he supposed without Nittle Grasper around to inspire them, there was no reason for Bad Luck to have been formed.

Shuichi groaned and slammed his head down on the table. This was why he worked more on his music career than an academic one. Schools were just plain horrible. Apparently Hiro had gone to another physics class and Shuichi apparently had the rest of the day free. What was this world? Why was there no Nittle Grasper? What was Tohma's life, Yuki's life, anyoneís' life? A good thought finally struck Shuichi. The temple.

Gathering his bags Shuichi ran to the nearest train station and asked for a ticket to Kyoto. The train was the same and so was the scenery. Shuichi had a long wait and looked out the windows. It seems not too much had changed over the course of time. Japan still looked the same. Shuichi felt kinda sad though at the lack of Bad Luck posters that would have normally surrounded the ever moving train, advertising their genius. He sighed and settled in for the long ride to the spiritual home of his love.

"I'm coming!" Tatsuha croaked out hoping that the idiot beating on the temple door would quiet down. His father was not in a very good mood at the moment and his body still hurt from the night before. He wrenched the door open to see a lithe pink haired man, no boy, standing before him. The boy took in a sharp breath at his appearance. This was why he avoided mirrors. What he did not expect was the boy to whisper, "Tats," mournfully. This made him take in a rather sharp breath of his own. This boy knew him? He heard rustling through the house and fear settled into his stomach. He had to get rid of the boy and hide...quickly.

Shuichi gasped at the sight of the once cheery man standing before him. Tatsuha was not the man he had been. His once beautiful skin was covered in bruises and cuts. There was no light in his eyes, just hopelessness. Shuichi let out a whimper of the boyís name. This shocked the boy. It was crushing how Tatsuha looked over his shoulder every few seconds in fear. Shuichi needed to know what had happened.

"Tatsuha, where is Yu-Eiri?"

"How do you know my name?" Tatsuha asked with narrowed eyes. This man was asking about Eiri. Something wasn't right.

"That's not important. I can- I can fix this. If you just tell me where Eiri is!" Tatsuha stared at the clearly desperate youth before making the decision.

"Eiri is dead. He's been dead for ten fucking years. Wha-," Tatsuha was cut off by the strangled sound that erupted from the young man's lips.

Shuichi sunk to the cold ground, knees buckling out from under him. There was no strength left in his body. Yuki was dead. This world was over. Shuichi wanted to ask how, but knew that somewhere it was Kitazawa's fault. He heard Tatsuha curse and look up. His father was marching down the hall and the boy cringed in preparation. The door swung closed. Tatusha was such a happy person. Nittle Grasper was gone. He didn't even know what happened to everyone else involved. A strangled sound escaped his throat. He screwed up.

A wind brought his attention forward. The boy stood before him with sad eyes. He sighed, "I can give you another chance to fix the past. Will you accept it?" Shuichi reached forward to grab the child's hand. The must of New York surrounded them. He saw a kid stepping out of a taxi with a cell phone in his hand. The kid's voice was elated with tones Shuichi had heard only once before. The boy ran into the building, ready to be at his favorite tutor's side.

Shuichi set off in a dead run for the kid. He shoved in through the door and brushed past the icy receptionist. The air conditioner was blowing hard. The boy stepped into an elevator where Shuichi shoved his hand against the closing door. Panting heavily as the child's eyes snapped up to his, he grabbed the small delicate hand. Dragging the child along to the outside of the hotel he made up the best lie on the spot possible, "Your sister, your sister just got in an accident. Go to the hospital Tohma normally takes you, ok?" The horrified Eiri nodded and ran to the nearest taxi. Shuichi sighed and closed his eyes in relief. This time for sure.

Slam. It was cold. Shuichi opened his eyes winced in pain as he realized he had just fallen off the couch. A slow padding of feet came to greet him and he looked up ready to see Eiri's face. It was none other than Kazuma. He gasped and slowly retreated away from the man. It seemed if Yuki wasn't around this damn man was. It kind of upset Shuichi in some recess of his overworking mind.

"Oh, honey are you ok? That seemed like quite a fall!"

"Uh, yeah..." Shuichi's mind was racing. So it seemed like this man and himself had an intimate relationship to say the very least. He looked around and froze ant the poster hanging on the wall. It stared a picture of Ryuichi on the front. There was only one fact that disturbed Shuichi about the trio on the poster. It. Wasn't. Grasper. Noriko stood to the left of Ryuichi in her normal place, but on the other side there was no Tohma. Instead there was an American who seemed rather apathetic looking. The band was called Bears Restraint. Shuichi let out a strange cry.

"Where is Tohma?" Shuichi asked forgetting his current situation.

"Tohma? Who is Tohma?" Shuichi's face snapped back to the handsome mans.

"Tohma Seguchi of NITTLE GRASPER!" The man's eyes became confused for a second.

"Nittle Grasper ended right after it began. I'm surprised you've even heard of the band, but considering how much you seemed to talk about Ryuichi last night I take that back." Kazuma said letting out a chuckle. Shuichi gave a hysterical bark at that thought.

"Why. Why did it end again?"

"That keyboardist you mentioned died at some incident in New York remember? Quite the scandal actually. Oh and honey, you were amazing in bed. We should do this again sometime" The man gave a wink. Shuichi didn't understand and just sat there. The Kazuma moved back into the kitchen to finish cooking. Shuichi finally pulled himself together and mumbled something about going out for a walk.

The cold wind of Tokyo was not inviting in the least. There was no happiness in the air. Tohma had died. What had happened to Mika or Yuki then? Shuichi walked in circles trying to figure out where to go. When it hit him. A book store. Yuki would have been an author if everything was alright!

"Do-Do, Do you have any books by an Eiri Yuki...?" The woman turned to her computer shocked and shook her head. Shuichi wanted to cry when a saving hope struck his mind. "Eiri...Usuegi, then?" She returned to type at the outdated machine for a couple of never-ending moments.

"We have fourteen novels by that author..." Shuichi let out a sigh. It was the first good thing he had heard all day. The girl looked at him in a curious way and continued, "Are you hear because of his recent suicide? I heard they are releasing a box set of his books soon so you might want to wait a while." Shuichi looked up and his face dropped. Had she said suicide? Had Shuichi heard her correctly?

"Did you say SUICIDE?" He practically threw out of his mouth at the girl. She looked rather shocked shaking her head up and down.

"Yeah, it's been all over the news, didn't ya see? They said he went crazy killed everyone he knew. Some reaction to childhood trauma or something. He murdered over ten people before he left, including Ryu! I couldn't believe it when I heard. They say he even said he got that Hiro guy from Bad Luck! Speaking of which you look kinda like Shu!" Shuichi couldn't take anymore. Everyone was dead. It seemed like a cruel joke. Like some maniac's way of destroying his whole life. This was someone's twisted story. The thought crossed his mind that he had known Yuki, at the very least. The room began to look black and close in. He heard the girl yelling, "Mister!" before the world went black.

It was a white room and Shuichi could feel the scratchy sheets on him. They were not the comfy kind. He looked around and saw that boy who had come to see him once again. It hadn't turned out the way he had wanted it to. He looked up the being's sad and desolate face.

"I understand, Shuichi. I can give you one more chance to set this straight. Do you know the best way to do this?" Shuichi nodded sick understanding rising in his stomach.

"I...I should have never changed anything. It only gets worse doesn't it?" Shuichi let out a laugh at that one. It was all so cruel. It seemed that for the world to be happy, Yuki had to suffer. The angel didn't even reach for Shuichi's hand this time. Instead he grabbed it and they traveled into the past for the final time.

Shuichi breathed in the smog of a New York from ten years ago for what he hoped was the last time. The radiant god was no longer beside him and he looked around. The Yuki was just arriving and he saw himself on the other side of the road. Yuki came to a stop in front of the apartment building, happy and innocent for the last time. He then turned to himself. The other Shuichi caught sight of him and turned. He just shook his head and closed his eyes. Hoping the message was displayed clearly. This was not meant to happen. The other Shuichi dropped his head and walked away understanding settling in.

Shuichi closed his eyes and opened them to feel his hand fall in thin air. It was Yuki's apartment and the lights were off. His hand swung to his side and he slid to the floor. Hope was gone and he felt his face crunch in despair. Knowing nothing else to do, Shuichi bowed his head and began to cry.

Eiri froze in his step as Shuichi's hand fell to his side. A sharp pain shot through his heart and he clenched his fist sucking in a breath as absolute despair replaced the former look of utter joy. The young man slip to the floor. He looked as if there was no hope in life anymore. He put his head in his hands and began to weep. Eiri became frightened. Shuichi had never cried in this manner before. It was as if his whole heart was dying. Yuki couldn't help himself step forward again and cross the gap towards his lover.

He put his arms around Shuichi who jumped a little at the sudden contact. He looked up to see Yuki's face and fell back into crying. The world had remained the same. There was nothing he could do. Eiri saw this action and was astounded. What was the baka crying about?

"I'm sorry...SO sorry...YU-yu-Yuki...I-It's all m-m-my fault!" Shuichi croaked out.

"What's your fault, brat?" Yuki coughed out surprised at his calm voice.

"I-I couldnít save-y-you! I-I-Tried! I'm so s-s-sorr-" Shuichi quieted at the boy's appearance behind Yuki in what seemed to be empty space. The boy shook his head and put a finger to his lips. Not a word. Shuichi hung his head all sobs ceasing. His shoulders slumped and he sat there drowning. Yuki didn't know what to do or what phantom had spooked the boy. They just sat there quietly in the dead night.

Later they were in bed and Shuichi was being quiet. Eyes and voice still raw from crying. Yuki had never gotten it out of him what was wrong, and knew that the baka just wasn't talking. Shuichi had latched on to his shirt tail and refused to let go. It was wrinkled and Yuki had tried force, threats, and kindness to no avail. The brat just wouldn't let go. He didn't speak after that just held on. No matter what Yuki did. So Yuki let him hang on. The brat's breathing evened out and Yuki looked at his finally calm, but sleeping face. He sat there wondering the meaning of tonightís' happenings and deciding one thing. Shuichi had saved him. Whether he knew it or not.


End file.
